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Humble Tom's Favorite Jokes

 

 A woman's English

"Yes" = No
"No" = Yes
"Maybe" = No
"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
"We need" = I want
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now
"Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"We need to talk" = I need to complain
"You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?
"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs
"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house

 

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Humble Tom's Favourite Quotes

"Beauty is the first present nature gives to women and the first it takes away."
George Brossin Méré

"You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older."
Anouk Aimée
 

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